Channel 36

“Rocking ‘Rick James’ has been properly arrested and charged” – An anonymous Arizona Sheriff said Tuesday. The man, self named after his icon was a “legend unto himself” according to one store owner involved in the arresting incident.

“I think he was more concerned with his hair..” ..one woman said to herself clutching a purse as if in preparation for the next moment.

Other residents expressed their concerns with the state of affairs, “How can someone think they are Jesus? Jesus..”.

“One time I was messing around and I saw my older sister naked.” – Jerome Baltimore

Local man’s grandchildren effected by storm damage and politicians.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmLZZKm6E_s

We spoke with Brian on the condition we do not disclose his last name or where-abouts within California in a very dry area that goes below a line on a ball in some peoples offices.

We enter the room where Brian is waiting already..

“What do you want? This is the most ridiculous attempt at anything!” – Brian

“So, to start this interview, how are you Brian?” – You

“What do you want from me?” – Brian

“We wanted to ask you about hamburgers” – You

“..oh..man..ok..” – Brian

“Do you have a political opinion about beef between bread?” – You

“Yes..yes I do, I don’t know but people don’t like part of my sandwiches or sometimes the whole thing…” – Brian

“I think we have wrapped up here Brian, thank you for participating” – You

“oh, shit ok, did I do something wrong?” – Brian

“Upon arrival officers noticed Jesus’s intoxication.” – Unknown source.

He was asked to walk the line, as Johnny Cash was, but to no avail.

Jesus was asked for identification multiple times. but always refused the lawful order and then screaming about scars on his wrists and ankles he began to become physical. An officer was declared loyal enough to the crown to stab Jesus with a spear in the side, ending the situation and sending water pouring out of his body.

“I have never stared into the sun with such confidence” – Walter Kronkite